I’m as much a mother today as I will be in just a couple months when my daughter arrives. I’m ready for none of it, and all of it at the same time. I have lists everywhere of things I need to do, buy, organize, and read. I am constantly concerned about getting enough water, taking my vitamins, and eating enough protein. I sign up for classes, read books, and try to prepare for the unknown. I worry about her already every single day. Is she ok in there? Is she growing? Is she comfortable? Is everything on track?
REFLECTING ON MOTHER’S DAY
My daughter depends on me now more than ever; I am her home. Taking care of her means taking care of myself, and recognizing that the way I talk to myself, feed myself, rest my body, move, and think affects her. This is my first Mother’s Day to not only celebrate motherhood, but more importantly, to celebrate and nurture myself.
Now that I reflect on Mother’s Day, and what it means, it is really about celebrating those who nurture and take care of us, enabling and empowering us to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. But aren’t we all mothers in some way, whether we have children or not, responsible for nurturing ourselves and those we love?
DOING IT ALL
Fall/Winter 2019 was a crazy busy time of my life. I have always lived a healthy lifestyle, but my self-care practices were definitely sliding lower and lower down the totem pole as life became busier and busier. As a CEO and business owner, I was traveling more than I was home, eating most meals out, having drinks most nights at work and social engagements, getting the least amount of sleep I could get away with and still function, packing my schedule with meetings, calls, events, masterclasses, content creation, social functions, and travel. I was taking investment in Lawless for the first time, managing my team, developing and launching numerous products, and interviewing new hires. I pushed myself to my limits because I could, and because I loved what I was doing. I was so passionate about my projects, and I wanted to do all of it.
When I found out I was pregnant in December, to say I was surprised is the understatement of the century. I had not been planning for this and had not started preparing my body for life to growing inside of it. This news forced me to immediately step back, reflect and reevaluate. I realized when it was just me, I was willing to put myself last in order to accomplish everything I wanted to do. Now that there was a little human growing inside of me, I knew that I needed to make some changes; I wanted to make some changes.
I started allowing myself to sleep more. I made my 30-minute morning meditation time non-negotiable. I became religious about taking prenatals and vitamins. I started tracking my meals and working with a nutritionist. I switched to gentler, and more enjoyable low impact workouts that I love. I started saying “no” to things I didn’t want to expend my energy on, and I started saying “no” to people that didn’t energize me. As a “yes” person, this was a very meaningful shift for me.
I am now seven months into this journey and I feel the best I’ve ever felt. I truly don’t think I’ve ever felt quite like this, mentally, physically and spiritually. I feel reconnected, recharged, and recalibrated, like I’m vibrating on my highest frequency. I feel a sense of self-love and respect that is deeply rewarding and nourishing. I feel a greater purpose than achieving, doing, and pushing myself. I feel a responsibility and duty to care for myself in the most conscious ways I possibly can. And I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to my baby, because without her, I may not have woken up and taken this inventory of my life.
When it was just me, I had forgotten to nurture and mother myself. I was nurturing all of my other “babies” – my business, my goals, my colleagues, my social life, my family – but I had removed myself from that equation. Becoming pregnant and understanding my vital role in nurturing and protecting this new baby’s life, caused me to remember my vital role in nurturing and protecting myself.
This reinforced focus on self-care has reconnected me with my passion for clean beauty that led me to create Lawless two and a half years ago. In truth, I began working on clean makeup products out of my own selfish need because I wanted to remove toxins from my beauty routine. I had successfully transitioned to clean skincare, but couldn’t find clean makeup that performed the same as my conventional favorites. I decided if I couldn’t find what I was looking for, I needed to make it myself because I didn’t want to go without. As it turns out, neither do so many of you!
During this pregnancy, getting back to my self-care values has renewed the fire inside of me to create the cleanest possible products I can, not only for myself, but for all of us. It has brought me back to my WHY. Why I started Lawless and how I felt when I did. Why I cared so much about the talc that was in my powder, the aluminum in my eyeshadow, and the formaldehyde in my mascara. Why I knew there had to be a better option, because I didn’t want to pollute my body with toxins. Because I love and care about myself, and want to keep my body, mind, and soul healthy in this crazy modern world that we live in. Because pregnant or not, children or not, we should treat ourselves the way we would treat our own child – with the utmost love, respect, and care. As women, we are all mothers in all different ways, shapes, and forms, and we should never forget to mother ourselves too.
CELEBRATING ALL KINDS OF MOTHERS
This Mother’s Day, I celebrate all of you. Each and every one of you. Single, married, with children, step children, estranged children, or never want children, it’s your day. Remember your worth, remember how special you are, and remember that you deserve to be cared for, nurtured, and loved. Self-care can be as simple as eating a healthy meal, taking a walk outside, getting a massage, taking a nap, or cutting out certain ingredients in your beauty routine. Whatever those things are that nourish you, do them and do them often. Without guilt, and without reservation. Not just today, but every day, because you can only take care of others effectively if you are taking care of yourself.
Thank you all for being part of this community and nurturing me with your support and friendship. If you want to play with makeup, you know where to find me!